Smiley Shou

(no subject)

Title: Prospects
Author: sike_o_path
Paring: Aki/Hiroto
Summary: Promises should be kept you know.

I don’t know how to act around you. You make it look so easy, being close without actually being there...that little smirk as you flick a burned out cigarette into the street and glance my way casually. As if I don’t know what you’re planning in that gutter between your ears; of course I know, I lie awake some nights wondering when you will finally stop making me promises with those dark dark eyes...

Something is different tonight. I can feel it in the way you drape yourself around me and the beer i’ve been nursing, the way you wrap your lips around a cigarette when we decide that my place is a better change of scenery--the way your eyes catch mine makes me make me nervous, but this expectant feeling in my gut keeps our eyes locked as I make promises of my own this time.

AN: It's not much, came up with this in barely 30 minutes waiting for my class to start. It feels good! :3

In which I prove my insanity

I've spent a good deal of this summer buried in my journals--anything I write has been better to imagine than the grand mess going on these days! I've filled up pages with bits of this and that, flashbacks, flash-forwards, and supernatural stuff too...I just have so many ideas! I probably won't have anything complete soon because I keep changing my mind, but here, have a bit of insanity~

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Meet Hana. Yes she's having a violent conversation....with herself. 
Love you guys, bye bye!

(no subject)

Hi there! I haven't been around much, I've had my nose buried in my journals. Suddenly I have a bunch of ideas...I'm having so much fun xD

I hope all of you are well and perhaps we'll meet again soon? ♥♥
  • Current Music
    Akai ONE PIECE--the GazettE
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(no subject)

There are a bunch of people more important than me in your life that will always come first. Even though, in my life, you are becoming more important to me than I originally planned for.

It sucks. It hurts. I care about you so much more than I should, I wonder how you're doing everyday, if you've eaten, if you've slept...I'm thinking about you all the time and I don't know how to handle that. Especially because I doubt that I cross your mind, and if I didn't mail you a few days every week you would probably forget me in an instant.

I'm irrelevant to you. I know that, but I want to be by your side, even if it's just as a friend. Because I love you so fucking much, and the thought of truly never seeing you again makes my heart break.
  • Current Music
    RUTHLESS DEED--the GazettE
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(no subject)

I'm drowning and I don't know what to do. My eyes never dry, my heart never stops squeezing so tight that I think I just might die this lips are bloody and raw because of all the words I'm holding inside.

I don't sleep well anymore, the nightmares have come back and some nights i'd rather lie awake and stare at the walls until unconciousness comes...I don't remember when I eat or care if I don't either--my clothes are getting bigger. I barely matter to myself, I don't expect anyone else to be concerned about this chaos my life have become.
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Let me know you better?

Borrowed from xadowangel
01. Your First Name:
02. Age:
03. Single or Taken:
04. Favorite anime:
05. Favorite music:
06. Dirty or Clean:
07. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
08. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
09. What's your philosophy on life?
10. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
11. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
12. What is your favorite memory of us?
13. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
14. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
15. You can have three wishes - what are they?
16. What's your biggest fandom [fandom you're most active in]?
17. Which country is your spiritual home?
18. What is your big weakness?
19. Do you think I'm a good person?
20. What was your best/favourite subject at school?
21. Describe your accent:
22. If you could change anything about me, would you?
23. What do you wear to sleep?
24. Trousers or skirts?
26. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
27. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Leave your answer in the comments...

Hmm. Haven't used this in quite some time

I've been busy doing lots of reading, dipping in and out of depression, beating myself up about an awkward relationship I've seemed to have gotten myself into....and actually getting back to my writing. In the midst of all this confusion I moved a couple of weeks ago, and i'm trying to get settled in here.

I hate it. I hate living here so, so much. But I don't have any other choice right now so i'm making the best of it until I get get myself together again. Life is rough, and finding reasons to smile seem to get harder and harder...but I refuse to fall back into crazy I worked myself into.

I've also been writing a lot, because I have quite a bit of free time these days. I talked to musicalmimicry about it, and she talked me into posting it to my journal once I finish it...scared to death, but I think it will be good for me. :3
I love writing and I hadn't been doing it in a while, so i'm looking forward to what might become of this.

I also did some cosmetic work on the page--now instead of ToraPon, it's all of Alice Nine; man I love this band so much, and this is one of my favorite photoshoots.

It feels strange updating my blog after being away for so long...hopefully that will change soon! XD

(no subject)

Title: Lattice


Genre: AU, Angst
: Aki/Kenzo/Hiroto

Rating: R

Warnings: mentions of blood play

Disclaimer: I own no one.

Summary: Sometimes our desires complicate things, and the lines of decency and self-control become intertwined.

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A.N: So this is my attempt at some Aki/Kenzo, but somehow Hiroto weaseled himself into the equation….seriously, I have no idea where he materialized from. But anyway, it was fun to write! I hope you all can make out my scribbling xD


Dying silently

When my mom went into the hospital this time, I told her that I would stay with her because her room is private and the couch pulls out into a bed. She's always in some form of pain because of the amputation, and sit up with her and hold her hand when she's in pain.

But I woke up 45 minutes ago because she was crying--sobbing actually because her foot hurt so hurts even more because she apologized for gods' sake... actually APOLOGIZED for waking me up with her crying. Honestly, I would have felt worse if I hadn't woke up, and I got up and held her while she cried into my shoulder...feeling like the most useless thing n the world.

Now it's my turn to cry, silently here in my corner while the morphine makes its way through her system...and get myself together for the next time she needs me.
  • Current Music
    feast of the moon--V i V i D
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Some uninteresting life stuff

I've been spending all my free time here at the hospital with my mom through this whole surgery process. At least now she is more alert, and moving around even though a bit troubled. Rehab for her leg started on Saturday and today my aunt and I made it here in enough time to sit with her during her session. The therapist says she's doing really well...I'm glad she is really giving it her best effort even though it hurts. We cracked jokes and did the exercises with her while we were there, and of course she worried over my clothes and hair like she always does...some things never change xD

Thanks for the concern's nice to know other people care. I worry about being a burden to my friends all the time so thank you thank you again <33333

Tomorrow they will most likely be taking her back into surgery for the amputation now...I just want them to take the freaking thing before it causes anymore problems. Cross your fingers everybody.